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00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:03,840
From Television City in Hollywood.

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Scratch it and survive.

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this one, stall this one.

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You have to argue about this one.

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And this one I'm going to put in the
funny papers.

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All right, will you look at this
electric bill? This is ridiculous.

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Has the gas bill gone up too, Daddy?

8
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Oh, not too bad. At least if you can't
afford to pay the electric bill, you can

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still put your head in the oven.

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I think all the poor people ought to get
together and send letters of protest to

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Washington. No way, son.

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They stopped us from doing that by
raising the price of stamps.

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If things are getting rough, Daddy,
maybe I can get a part -time job after

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school. So could I.

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No, no. Now, you guys just concentrate
on your education. I'll take care of

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family. Well, thanks anyway, because I
appreciate the thought.

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You know, me and your mama are still
pretty lucky.

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We're lucky too, Daddy.

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Yeah, we got ourselves some wonderful
kids.

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use $18.

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Well, two out of three ain't bad.

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What you need $18 for?

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Set of barbells.

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Barbells? Yeah. When I go to the beach
this summer, I want to drive the girls

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crazy with my massive body.

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If I get those barbells, I may get me a
job as a lifeguard.

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And if I like it, I may even learn how
to swim.

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Junior, stop bumping your gums, will
you? I got enough problems.

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Hey, who made a toll call to Oak Park?

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Not me.

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I got to go to the bathroom.

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Junior, did you make a toll call?

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Oh, Dad, see what happened is that I met
this classy chick, and when I called...

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versus the Chargers, otherwise she'd
have thought I was cheap.

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I told her I was the head of Motown.

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I didn't lie, because actually what I
told her was that I was the head of

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Notown.

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Jody, I got a fat phone bill here that's
a result of your playing Casanova.

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Now, the next time you make a toll call,
you and me gonna go to Knuckle

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Junction.

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Bust some Notown.

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thing happened at the supermarket.

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I still can't believe it. Let me guess,
they gotten some fresh meat by mistake?

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No.

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I was standing in the vegetable section,
you know, thumping melons and squeezing

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lettuce and squishing squash, when this
man walked over to me, tapped me on my

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shoulder, and said he was from an
advertising agency that does TV

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You're jiving.

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No. He said he needed an honest...

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to try to sell their new product.

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A TV commercial?

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Oh, what you say?

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Drive me out and rip me each old little
heart out. Oh,

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blood, that's out of sight.

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Oh, the only trouble is when you're
watching television, you won't be able

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run to the John door in the commercial
because it might be you.

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Take it easy now.

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It's nothing definite yet. He said he
had to look at some other faces before

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decided.

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he's not going to find a more honest
face than yours.

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Oh, Ilona. I mean it. You got the
perfect face. You got the kind of face

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look for in commercials now. You got
that nice, plain...

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sure was gone a long time.

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James, I bet you can't guess why. Huh?
The most exciting thing happened. I was

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standing in this little pocket, just
standing there and looking at the

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in no brassiere commercial.

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James. Ain't no wife of mine advertising
nothing below the neck.

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I'm sure he won't be calling me, but
anyway, he gave me his card and told me

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he'd get in touch with me if he needed
me. A card? Let me see it. I'm an expert

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on cards, Mama.

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Here it is.

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Hey, look at that fancy gold lettering.

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I ain't got that job yet. But, Mama, you
said the man was interested in you. And

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they pay big for commercials, Ma. I bet
you'll get at least $100.

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Oh, $100?

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Yeah,

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they'll probably put Mama in some long
evening gown, stick her on top of a

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mountain with the wind blowing through
her hair.

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Picks up a bottle of ketchup and smacks
her lips.

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sure. She can't say, that's bad.

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Mama's not going to speak bad English
when she goes on television.

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Right, Ma?

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That's right.

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Ma, please.

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Tell me, how do you know they didn't
want Mama to speak street talk?

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Why do you think they pick a black woman
in the...

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That's right, baby. Your mother's a
proud black woman. If they ask you to

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that's right, she'd take that bottle of
ketchup and throw it off that mountain

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right into the river.

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I don't like to hear that, Dad.

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And if J .J. says it again, I'm going to
throw him in the river.

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Tell my baby, we're just teasing.

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You all got me on television advertising
ketchup when I don't even know what the

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product is.

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And the man ain't even called yet.

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He'll call, Mama. And when you get paid,
I could use $18 for a set of barbells.

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There he goes again.

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Skinny Sam the Gimme Man.

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What barbells?

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00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:32,200
Mama Summer's coming on. I need muscles.

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00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:36,659
When I put on a T -shirt this summer, I
just don't want to look like a T.

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Now listen, all of y 'all.

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If your mother gets some money, it's all
hers.

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And baby, you can spend it any way you
like.

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Gas bills, phone calls, anything at all.

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Thanks, James.

107
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Now, why don't we all get our heads out
of the cloud?

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I'm still a mother with a family, and
I'm late getting dinner started.

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Mama, did the man say when he was going
to call you?

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Well, he said he'll call by 4 o 'clock
if they was going to use me.

111
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Well, it's 10 after now.

112
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10 after?

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Well, I guess I won't become the Mrs.
Olsen of the project.

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You know, baby, It's all for the best.

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You start off doing TV commercials. Next
thing you know, you'll be putting your

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footprints in the cement at Grauman's
Chinese Theater.

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00:09:24,001 --> 00:09:27,289
While you're doing that, I'll be in the
back of the crowd walking your French

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poodles. Oh, James.

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Ain't no way in the world for me to
embarrass you by asking you to walk my

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French poodles. I'll let the chauffeur
do that.

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You'll have to stay at home and babysit
with my...

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00:09:47,910 --> 00:09:51,769
Being the son of a famous movie star, I
have my own Cadillac to drive down and

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get my food stamps.

124
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How so?

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Mr. Davidson?

126
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Sure. Just one moment, please.

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Baby, it's him!

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Hello?

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Yes, Mr. Moore.

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Uh -huh.

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Uh -huh.

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Yes, I'll be home this evening.

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Mm -hmm.

134
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:06,240
How much did you say?

135
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Tell me, what did he say? What happened?

136
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Well... He said, I got the job!

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00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:35,559
He said, I'll be selling a new product
called VitaBrite. And it's a

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00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:38,999
health tonic. And they're going to send
over the script with what I have to say.

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00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,699
And then James, he said something I
don't think I heard right.

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What? About how much they was going to
pay me.

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00:11:43,960 --> 00:11:48,140
They said something about repeats and
reruns and re -something another.

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00:11:48,780 --> 00:11:50,120
And then he said, I...

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For a big star like me.

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The commercial man said he wanted what
she was, and what she was is what he's

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going to get, and believe me, that's
mighty good.

146
00:13:06,820 --> 00:13:10,759
I know that, Dad, but it won't hurt for
her to speak like a real TV commercial

147
00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:14,360
announcer. Now, Ma, here's a great
diction exercise.

148
00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:15,650
Just do what I...

149
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is still going to come out green.

150
00:14:17,381 --> 00:14:22,479
Come on now, y 'all. Stop jiving while
I'm rehearsing, Mama. You're making her

151
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nervous. I don't need no help in that
department. I'm already a wreck.

152
00:14:27,360 --> 00:14:28,410
Oh, Mama.

153
00:14:28,820 --> 00:14:33,300
Now, besides, to be a TV star, you got
to be a real natural.

154
00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:36,030
Now, here's the way you should do this
part.

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00:14:54,700 --> 00:14:59,080
This is Florida Evans, star of Stage
Screen and the Ghetto.

156
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Here to tell you about VitaBrite Health
Tonic. My husband James used to have

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slow blood.

158
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He would cut himself shaving on Monday
and wouldn't bleed until Thursday.

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00:15:17,640 --> 00:15:23,040
But now, thanks to VitaBrite Health
Tonic, my blood is fine.

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unsolicited testimony who is the
grateful folks at body bright will send

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00:15:43,580 --> 00:15:45,520
additional check for one

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00:16:10,220 --> 00:16:12,020
which needs a set of barbells.

163
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:14,540
To be tall, tan, and terrific.

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And a hard -working husband.

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00:16:18,080 --> 00:16:20,080
Who could sure use the $5 ,000.

166
00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,480
Boy, that's a lot of money, baby.

167
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,579
Who ever thought you'd be making that?

168
00:16:24,580 --> 00:16:28,919
Well, now, James, wait a minute. That $5
,000 is put -away money. That's for the

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00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,020
children's education and our old age.

170
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:37,160
I only hit the jackpot once, but you're
the one that comes in with it every day.

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00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:42,249
Hey, I must be somebody's... Special
too, huh? I've just been kissed by a

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that makes $5 ,000 a day.

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Less!

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$18 for a set of barbells.

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00:16:49,570 --> 00:16:51,800
JJ, don't you think of anyone but
yourself?

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00:16:51,801 --> 00:16:55,229
Baby, that must be the man with the
script.

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00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:56,370
This is it. Come on, mama.

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00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:57,870
Come on, baby.

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00:16:57,871 --> 00:16:59,569
Opportunity is knocking.

180
00:16:59,570 --> 00:17:00,620
That's right.

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00:18:48,810 --> 00:18:52,350
suggested that I try... What family,
doctor?

182
00:18:53,090 --> 00:18:56,590
All we got is a bottle of iodine and
three band -aids.

183
00:18:57,270 --> 00:19:02,729
Maybe you sound real good. Keep going
here. Come on. I have been using

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00:19:02,730 --> 00:19:08,970
for three months and... James, I ain't
been using this stuff for three minutes.

185
00:19:30,231 --> 00:19:36,739
Milk's a junkyard. Yeah, like you're
playing the part of a woman who's been

186
00:19:36,740 --> 00:19:38,600
drinking Vita Brite for three months.

187
00:19:38,820 --> 00:19:42,130
It ain't lying, Mama. It's acting. You
think Henry Fonda would lie?

188
00:19:42,131 --> 00:19:46,639
What's he got to do with it? When you
see him do those floor wax commercials,

189
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,750
you think he really waxes his own
floors?

190
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:53,260
When his floors get dirty, he just buys
a new house.

191
00:19:56,740 --> 00:19:58,660
And how about those milk commercials?

192
00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:02,170
How do we know Mark Spitz really drinks
milk to build strong teeth?

193
00:20:09,930 --> 00:20:12,400
commercials now. You think he really
wears them?

194
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:14,870
Not in the locker room.

195
00:20:16,410 --> 00:20:19,550
Maybe everybody knows what you see on TV
ain't exactly real.

196
00:20:19,850 --> 00:20:23,760
I mean, like that guy in the little boat
that goes sailing around in the toilet.

197
00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:25,920
I ain't never seen no yachtsman in our
job.

198
00:20:28,670 --> 00:20:30,070
And he's living dangerous.

199
00:20:30,290 --> 00:20:31,870
One flush and he's buried at sea.

200
00:20:43,181 --> 00:20:50,809
kids are just making excuses because
you're excited about that five thousand

201
00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:54,529
dollars baby there ain't nothing wrong
with having five thousand dollars now

202
00:20:54,530 --> 00:20:57,909
said yourself you wanted the money for
the kids education yeah ma i want to be

203
00:20:57,910 --> 00:21:01,709
lawyer and i want to become a great
actress i'm torn between a life as an

204
00:21:01,710 --> 00:21:08,669
artisan and great barbellsman look kids
i want you to have all those things even

205
00:21:08,670 --> 00:21:12,050
the barbells but i don't want you going

206
00:21:17,171 --> 00:21:23,399
talking and nothing that's going to make
you go against your principles.

207
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,040
But, Florida, $5 ,000 is a lot of money.

208
00:21:26,300 --> 00:21:28,770
And, baby, this is a dog -eat -dog world
out there.

209
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,430
And I'm tired of being inside the dog
looking out.

210
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,160
James, should there be a price on truth?

211
00:21:37,060 --> 00:21:38,110
I don't know, baby.

212
00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,840
But for $5 ,000, the price is right.

213
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:46,379
And besides, it's a health tonic. I
mean, just because you ain't used it for

214
00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:48,379
three months don't mean it might not be
good for folks.

215
00:21:48,380 --> 00:21:49,430
Yeah.

216
00:21:50,320 --> 00:21:52,670
that little scrawny fella that delivered
him.

217
00:21:53,460 --> 00:21:55,040
Come on, baby. At least try it.

218
00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,160
Yeah, here's the Vita -Brite, Dad.

219
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:58,480
I'll get some glasses.

220
00:21:58,740 --> 00:22:01,060
Huh? Oh, all right. All right.

221
00:22:01,061 --> 00:22:05,099
I wonder how much of this stuff you're
supposed to take. Well, it can't hurt,

222
00:22:05,100 --> 00:22:06,300
baby. It's a health tonic.

223
00:22:07,660 --> 00:22:11,380
Give me a double. I'm gonna be the
fastest blood in the world.

224
00:22:21,390 --> 00:22:22,470
you health and

225
00:23:24,261 --> 00:23:28,789
baby. The best thing you can do is just
sleep it off.

226
00:23:28,790 --> 00:23:33,189
Oh, James, we were getting so turned
around by all that money, we got too

227
00:23:33,190 --> 00:23:34,730
to look after our own kids.

228
00:23:35,030 --> 00:23:36,990
I get on the bus again.

229
00:23:39,670 --> 00:23:42,560
Drinking all that stuff is a wonder you
can feel anything.

230
00:23:42,990 --> 00:23:48,049
James, after seeing what this stuff did
to Michael, there's no way I'm going to

231
00:23:48,050 --> 00:23:48,929
do that commercial.

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00:23:48,930 --> 00:23:51,449
You're right, Florida, and I ain't got
no argument.

233
00:23:51,450 --> 00:23:52,500
Now, hold on.

234
00:23:52,810 --> 00:23:55,460
Somebody's got to be the voice of reason
around here.

235
00:23:55,461 --> 00:23:57,799
I finally got a chance to get a piece of
the action.

236
00:23:57,800 --> 00:24:02,779
I'm not interested in no action that's
going to sell 18 % booze as a health

237
00:24:02,780 --> 00:24:04,880
tonic. It's only selling, Mama.

238
00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:06,940
It's part of America.

239
00:24:06,941 --> 00:24:11,499
This is the Evans house, and your mother
ain't selling nothing that's going to

240
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:14,759
put 11 -year -old kids on skid row. Now,
let's just worry about your brother,

241
00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:15,559
huh?

242
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,030
Mama, I'm glad you're not doing that
commercial.

243
00:24:18,060 --> 00:24:19,110
I can do it.

244
00:24:40,520 --> 00:24:42,380
Casey's corn crinkles for breakfast.

245
00:24:42,780 --> 00:24:47,839
Casey's corn crinkles are delicious with
sugar, strawberries, and cream. Your

246
00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:52,839
family will love them. With sugar,
strawberries, and cream, a bale of hay

247
00:24:52,840 --> 00:24:53,890
be delicious.

248
00:24:53,891 --> 00:24:57,879
Mama, that could have been you doing a
commercial.

249
00:24:57,880 --> 00:24:58,930
No way.

250
00:24:59,580 --> 00:25:04,459
Mr. Moore said the government wouldn't
let them advertise Vita Bright on

251
00:25:04,460 --> 00:25:10,039
television. Besides, if they did, I
know... much better person than me to do

252
00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:11,090
that commercial.

253
00:25:11,091 --> 00:25:12,179
Who's that?

254
00:25:12,180 --> 00:25:13,230
Dean Martin.

255
00:25:55,180 --> 00:25:57,890
Good Times is recorded on tape before a
live audience.

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00:25:57,910 --> 00:26:02,460
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